Control Stress!

Controlling your stress is important to your mental and physical health. 

Unrelenting stress can turn to distress. 

Stress is the body's reaction to any change that requires a physical, mental, or emotional adjustment or response. 

Stress is a normal part of life. 

Many events that happen to you and around you -- and many things that you do to yourself -- put stress on your body. 

Some stress can be good. It keeps us alert, motivated, and ready to avoid danger. But too much stress can make us sick.

How Does Stress Affect Your Health?

The body's autonomic nervous system has a built-in stress response 
that causes physiological changes to allow the body to combat stressful situations. 
This stress response, also known as the "fight or flight response," 
is activated in case of an emergency. 
However, this response can become chronically activated during 
prolonged periods of stress, which can cause wear and tear on the body -- 
both physical and emotional.

Stress that continues without relief can lead to a condition called distress -- a negative stress reaction. Distress can disturb the body's internal balance or equilibrium, 

leading to physical symptoms such as headaches, an upset stomach, 

elevated blood pressure, chest pain, sexual dysfunction, and problems 

sleeping. Emotional problems can also result from distress. 

These issues included depression, panic attacks or other forms of anxiety and worry. 

Research suggests that stress also can bring on or worsen certain symptoms or diseases. Stress is linked to six of the leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver, and suicide.

Stress also becomes harmful when people engage in the compulsive 
use of substances or behaviors to try to relieve their stress. 
These substances or behaviors may include food, 
alcohol, tobacco, drugs, gambling, sex, shopping, and the Internet. 
Rather than relieving the stress and returning the body to a relaxed state, 
these substances and compulsive behaviors tend to keep the body in a 
stressed state causing more problems. The distressed person becomes
trapped in a vicious circle.

How do you find out the signs of Your Stress?

Chronic stress can wear down the body's natural defenses,
leading to a variety of physical symptoms, including:

• Dizziness or a general feeling of "being out of it"
• General aches and pains
• Grinding teeth, clenched jaw
• Headaches
• Indigestion or acid reflux symptoms
• Increase in or loss of appetite
• Muscle tension in neck, face or shoulders
• Problems sleeping
• Racing heart
• Cold and sweaty palms
• Tiredness, exhaustion
• Trembling/shaking
• Weight gain or loss
• Upset stomach, diarrhea
• Sexual difficulties

Tips to reduce Your Stress:

People can learn to manage stress and lead happier, healthier lives.
Here are some tips to help you keep stress at bay.

• Keep a positive attitude.
• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques; try meditation, yoga, or tai-chi.
• Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
• Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Learn to manage your time more effectively.
• Set limits appropriately and say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.
• Make time for hobbies and interests.
• Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
• Don't rely on alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to reduce stress.
• Seek out social support. Spend enough time with those you love.
• Seek treatment with a psychologist or other mental health professional trained in stress management or biofeedback techniques to learn more healthy ways of dealing with the stress in your life. 

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Uri Geller - A Living Legend !

Uri Geller (born 20 December 1946) is an Israeli paranormalist living in England; he is well known for his trademark television performances of spoon bending and other supposed physical effects. Throughout the years, Geller has claimed that he achieves these effects through psychokinesis and telepathy, though critics say they are easily replicated magic tricks.

The debate over the veracity of Geller's performance has gone on since he first rose to international attention in the 1970s. Geller's career as an entertainer has spanned almost four decades, with television shows and appearances in many countries. Geller used to call his abilities "psychic," but now prefers to refer to himself as a "mystifier" and entertainer.

For more details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uri_Geller#Bibliography

Visit to his own Uri-Geller Blog:

 http://uri-geller.blogspot.com/

-Mohan Balki 

Do I need Psychotherapy sir?

Various Psychological Tests for You: Test yourself "here-now"!

Adult ADD Screening Test

For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with adult attention deficit disorder (ADHD/ADD).

QUICK Adult ADHD Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with adult attention deficit disorder (ADHD/ADD). This is a quick, 6 question quiz.

Anxiety Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with an anxiety disorder, such as panic disorder or generalized anxiety disorder.

Autism / Asperger's Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with an autism spectrum disorder, such as autism or Asperger's.

Bipolar Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depression.

QUICK Depression Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with depression.

Depression Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with depression, and to track your depressive feelings over time.

Mania Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with a manic episode (or mania, a part of bipolar disorder), and to track your manic feelings over time. Also, consider taking the Bipolar Screening Quiz.

Mood Tracker - New!
Track your emotions over time -- every day or once a week -- and get immediate, actionable results.

Eating Disorder Screening Test
A quick, 5-question screen for helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia.

Eating Attitudes Test (EAT-26)
A more in-depth, 32-question quiz for helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia.

OCD Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with adult obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).

PTSD Screening Quiz for Child Injury
For helping to determine whether you or your child have symptoms commonly associated with posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Schizophrenia Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with schizophrenia.

Do I need therapy? Quiz
A short, 12-item quiz to help you determine whether you could benefit from psychotherapy right now in your life.

Workplace Bullying Quiz A quiz to help you determine if you may be the victim of workplace bullying.

Relationships and Sexuality

How Deep is Your Love? Quiz
How passionate do you feel in your current relationship?

How Strong is Your Relationship? Quiz
For help in determining the strength of your current long-term relationship or marriage.

Do I have a Love, Lust or Loser Relationship?
For helping to determine whether your relationship is love, just lust, or a loser.

Sexual Addiction Screening Test
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with sexual addiction.

Romance Attachment Quiz
A 41-item quiz to help you determine your romantic attachment style -- whether relationships make you more anxious or avoidant.

Feeling Connected? Quiz
How connected in your relationship with your partner are you right now?

Domestic Violence Screening
For helping to determine whether you have symptoms commonly associated with someone in a physically or emotionally abusive relationship and domestic violence.

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Personality

Big Five Personality Test - New!
A Big Five-based personality assessment that provides you personalized and detailed feedback across 45 distinct traits. Explore your results in an innovative and visually interactive approach.

Short Personality Test
A quick 10 item quiz that scores your big five personality traits -- extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, emotional stability and openness to experiences.

Narcissistic Personality Inventory - New!
A 40-item personality test that tests for narcissism traits and narcissistic personality disorder. How narcissistic are you?

Dr. Phil's Personality Test
A fun 10 item quiz to see how your friends and others see you and your personality. Take it with a grain of salt.

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Geeks and Technology

For fun only.

Are You a Geek? Quiz
Are you or aren't you? Well, find out in just 18 easy questions (unlike the absurd other online geek quizzes you find online!). Not scientific.

Are You Addicted to the Internet? Quiz
Whether it's real or not, find out whether you're addicted to the Internet now.

What Became of Albert Einstein's Brain?

Albert Einstein was born at Ulm, in Württemberg, Germany, on March 14, 1879.
On April 18, 1955, the great mathematician and physicist Albert Einstein died.
He was 76 years old. Although Einstein's body was cremated, his brain was saved.
Dr. Thomas S. Harvey, a pathologist at Princeton Hospital, removed Einstein’s brain on the morning of Einstein's death.
What happened to the brain for years after this is somewhat of a mystery.

Please click here to know more about Albert Einstein and his Brain....

Please watch here and enjoy his real portrait:

Courtesy You tube:







http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/ein.html

Time Line of Einstein's Life
1879: Albert Einstein is born to Hermann Einstein (a featherbed
salesman) and his wife Pauline in Ulm, Germany.
1884: Around this time, Albert receives his first compass,
beginning his quest to investigate the natural world.
1889: At age 10, Albert sets into a program of self education and
reads as much about science as he can.
1894: The Einsteins move from Munich to Pavia, Italy and
Albert, 15, stays on in Munich to finish the school year. Albert
lasts only a term on his own and follows his family to Pavia.
1895: Albert attempts to skip high school by taking an entrance
exam to the Swiss Polytechnic, a top technical university, but he
fails the arts portion. His family sends him to the Swiss town of
Aarau to finish high school.
1896: Albert graduates from high school at the age of 17 and
enrolls at the ETH (the Federal Polytechnic) in Zurich.
1898: Albert falls in love with Mileva Maric, a Hungarian
classmate at the ETH.
1900: Albert graduates from the ETH.
1901: Albert becomes a Swiss citizen. Unemployed, he searches
for work. He and Mileva meet in northern Italy for a tryst.
Mileva becomes pregnant. In the fall, Albert finds work in
Schaffhausen, Switzerland as a tutor. Mileva, visibly pregnant,
moves to Stein Am Rhein, three miles upriver. Mileva then moves
to Hungary to give birth to their baby at her parent's home.
Albert moves to Bern.
1902: In January, Mileva gives birth to their daughter, Lieserl,
whom they eventually put up for adoption. She reportedly
becomes ill and then all record of her disappears. Albert takes a
job at the Swiss Patent Office. Hermann Einstein becomes ill and
dies.
1903: Albert and Mileva marry in January
1904: Mileva gives birth to their first son, Hans Albert.
1905: "Annus Mirabilis" -- Einstein's "Miracle Year": his Special
Theory of Relativity is born. June 30th, Einstein, submits his
paper, "On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies" to the leading
German physics journal. At age 26, he applies his theory to mass
and energy and formulates the equation e=mc2.
1906: Still living in Bern, Einstein continues as an Examiner at
the Swiss Patent Office.
1907: Einstein begins applying the laws of gravity to his Special
Theory of Relativity.
1910: Son Eduard is born.
1911: The Einsteins move to Prague where Albert is given a full
professorship at the German University there. Albert is the
youngest to attend the invitation-only Solvay Conference in
Brussels, the first world physics conference.
1912: The Einsteins move to Zurich where Albert is given a
position as a professor of Theoretical Physics at the ETH.
1913: Einstein works on his new Theory of Gravity.
1914: Einstein becomes director of the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute
in Berlin and professor of theoretical physics at the University of
Berlin. The family moves there in April, but Mileva and the sons
return to Zurich after 3 months. The divorce prodeedings begin.
In August, World War I begins.
1915: Einstein completes the General Theory of Relativity.
1917: Einstein collapses and, near death, falls seriously ill. He is
nursed back to health by his cousin, Elsa. He publishes his first
paper on cosmology.
1919: Albert marries Elsa. May 29, a solar eclipse proves
Einstein's General Theory of Relativity works.
1922: Is awarded the Nobel Prize in physics for 1921.
1927: Attends fifth Solvay Conference and begins developing the
foundation of quantum mechanics with Bohr.
1928: Einstein begins pursing his idea of a unified field theory.
1932: Einstein is 53 and at the height of his fame. Identified as a
Jew, he begins to feel the heat of Nazi Germany.
1933: Albert and Elsa set sail for the United States. They settle in
Princeton, New Jersey where he assumes a post at the Institute for
Advanced Study.
1936: Elsa dies after a brief illness.
1939: World War II begins. Einstein writes a famous letter to
President Franklin D. Roosevelt warning of the possibility of
Germany's building an atomic bomb and urging nuclear research.
1940: Einstein becomes an American citizen; retains Swiss
citizenship.
1949: Mileva dies.
1955: Einstein dies of heart failure on April 16.
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What Is a Black Hole, Really?
A black hole is a celestial object of such extremely intense gravity that it attracts everything near it and prevents everything, including light, from escaping. The term was first used in reference to a star in the last phases of gravitational collapse.

Gravitational collapse begins when a star has depleted its steady sources of nuclear energy and can no longer produce the expansive force, a result of normal gas pressure, that supports the star against the compressive force of its own gravitation. In some cases, nothing remains to prevent the star from collapsing without limit to an indefinitely small size and infinitely large density, to create a black hole.

At this point the effects of Einstein's general theory of relativity become paramount. According to this theory, space becomes curved in the vicinity of matter (this is the meaning of gravity); the greater the concentration of matter, the greater the curvature (the greater the gravity). When the star shrinks below a certain size determined by its mass, the extreme curvature of space seals off contact with the outside world. The place beyond which no radiation can escape even not light.

It is now believed that the origin of some black holes is nonstellar. Some astrophysicists suggest that immense volumes of interstellar matter can collect and collapse into supermassive black holes, such as are found at the center of some galaxies.

Because light and other forms of energy and matter are permanently trapped inside a black hole, it can never be observed directly. However, a black hole could be detected by the effect of its gravitational field on nearby objects (e.g., if it is orbited by a visible star), during the collapse while it was forming, or by the X rays and radio frequency signals emitted by rapidly swirling matter being pulled into the black hole. A small number of possible black holes have been detected, although none of the discoveries has been conclusive.

Collected Quotes from Albert Einstein

* "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

* "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

* "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

* "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."

* "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

* "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

* "The only real valuable thing is intuition."

* "A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

* "I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."

* "God is subtle but he is not malicious."

* "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."

* "I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."

* "The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

* "Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."

* "Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

* "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

* "Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."

* "Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."

* "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."

* "Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."

* "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."

* "The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

* "God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates empirically."

* "The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."

* "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."

* "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."

* "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."

* "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

* "Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."

* "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."

* "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."

* "Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity."

* "If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."

* "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."

* "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

* "Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."

* "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

* "In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."

* "The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."

* "Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."

* "Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!"

* "No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

* "My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."

* "Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever."

* "The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."

* "Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."

* "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

* "A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."

* "The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."

* "Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

* "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

* "One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

* "...one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."

* "He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."

* "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

* "Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton)

Source: http://rescomp.stanford.edu/~cheshire/EinsteinQuotes.html

What is Counseling Psychology?

ons.

Definition of Counseling:

There have always been counselors — people who listen to others and help resolve difficulties — but the word does not always mean the same thing. One hears of carpet counselors, color-coordination counselors, pest-control counselors, financial counselors, and so on. These counselors are most often glorified salespers

They are to counseling what furniture doctors are to medicine. Counseling as a profession is relatively new. It grew out of the guidance movement, in opposition to traditional psychotherapy. To understand what counseling is, you must first understand these two concepts.

Guidance

Guidance is the process of helping people make important choices that affect their lives, such as choosing a preferred life-style. While the decision-making aspect of guidance has long played an important role in the counseling process, the concept itself, as an often-used word in counseling, “has gone the way of ‘consumption’ in medicine” (Tyler, 1986, p. 153). It has more historical significance than present-day usage. 

Nevertheless, it sometimes distinguishes a way of helping that differs from the more encompassing word counseling.

One distinction between guidance and counseling is that while guidance focuses on helping individuals choose what they value most, counseling focuses on helping them make changes. Much of the early work in guidance occurred in schools: an adult would help a student make decisions, such as deciding on a vocation or course of study. That relationship was between unequals — teacher and pupil — and was beneficial in helping the less-experienced person find direction in life. Similarly, children have long received “guidance” from parents, ministers, scout leaders, and coaches. 

In the process they have gained an understanding of themselves and their world (Shertzer & Stone, 1981). This type of guidance will never become passé; no matter what the age or stage of life, a person often needs help in making choices. Yet such guidance is only one part of the overall service provided by professional counseling.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy (or therapy) traditionally focuses on serious problems associated with intrapsychic, internal, and personal issues and conflicts. Characteristically, it emphasizes the following issues (Pietrofesa, Hoffman, and Splete, 1984; Super, sychotherapists and clinical psychologists generally use the term psychotherapy to describe their work. Whether clients receive counseling or psychotherapy, however, os often determined by the professionals who provide the service (Trotzer & Trotzer, 1986). Some counseling theories are commonly referred to as therapies and can be used in either a counseling or therapy setting. There are other similarities in the counseling and psychotherapy process.

Generally, when making a distinction between psychotherapy and counseling, you should consider two criteria. First, psychotherapy usually involves a long-term relationship (20 to 40 sessions over a period of six months to two years) that focuses on reconstructive change. Counseling, on the other hand, tends to be ashort-term relationship (8 to 12 sessions spread over a period of less than six months) and focuses on the relationship of developmental and situational problems. Second, counseling is usually provided in outpatient settings (nonresidential buildings, such as schools or community agencies), whereas therapy is provided in both outpatient and inpatient settings (residential treatment facilities such as mental hospitals).

Counseling

Both the American Counseling Association (ACA) and Division 17 (Counseling Psychology) of the American Psychological Association (APA) have defined counseling on numerous occasions. Their definitions contain a number of common points, some of which follow.

Counseling is a profession. Practitioners should complete a prescribed course of study usually leading to a master’s degree or a doctorate degree. Counselors are members of organizations that set professional and ethical standards and promote state licensing and certification by national associations (Wittmer & Loesch, 1986). The process of certification and licensing and the adherence to ethical codes assure the public that the counselor meets minimal educational and professional standards. Counselors should possess personal qualities of maturity, empathy, and warmth. Overall, counseling is active and differs considerably from passively listening to problems.

Counseling deals with personal, social, vocational, empowerment, and educational concerns. Counselors work only in areas in which they have expertise. These areas may include intra- and interpersonal concerns related to school or college adjustment, mental health, aging, marriage or family issues, employment, and rehabilitation.

Counseling is conducted with persons who are considered to function within the “normal range”.Clients have adjustment, development, or situational concerns; and their problems require short-term intervention. They are not considered “sick” but “stuck”. Sometimes they just need information, but usually they are looking for a way to clarify and use the information they already possess.

Counseling is theory-based and takes place in a structured setting. Counselors draw from a number of theories and work in a structured environment, such as an office setting, with various individuals, groups and families.

Counseling is a process in which clients learn how to make decisions and formulate new ways of behaving, feeling, and thinking. Counselors focus on the goals their clients wish to achieve. Clients explore their present levels of functioning and the changes that must be made to achieve personal objectives. Thus, counseling involves both choice and change, evolving through distinct stages such as exploration, goal setting, and action (Brammer, 1993; Egan, 1990).

Counseling encompasses various subspecialties.Subspecialties include school or college counseling, marriage and family counseling, mental health counseling, gerontological counseling, rehabilitation counseling, addiction counseling, and career counseling. Each has specific educational and experimental requirements for the practitioners.

Thus, counseling can be more precisely defined as a relatively short-term, interpersonal, theory-based process of helping persons who are basically psychologically healthy resolve developmental and situational problems. Counseling activities are guided by ethical and legal standards and go through distinct stages from initiation to termination . Personal, social, vocational, and educational matters are all areas of concern; and the profession encompasses a number of subspecialties. A practitioner must complete a required course of study on either the master’s or doctoral level to be licensed or certified as a professional.

    * He should be the past more than the present
    * Insight more than change
    * The detachment of the therapist
    * The Therapist role as an expert
        

Your Children are Not your Children !

One of my friend asked me, "How to rear up my child"?

I did not say any thing to him. Because, i myself do not know how to bring up the children in a proper way. But, I am certain in one thing that How not to rear them up and how not to impose my ideas and plans in to their head, for myself not certain about many things and particularly of the volatile future and its ever changing dimensions.

Here, just I want to offer my friends, the thoughts of "Kahlil Gibran" the most eminent poet and the versatile thinker of our age. (And how should one pronounce..Jibraan or Kibraan? People pronounce in both ways. Which one is correct?)

Please click the URL and go to His Wisdom-World !

- MBK

http://www.katsandogz.com/onchildren.html

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

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Let us Save Trees - and Save Our Humanity!

BECAUSE......

Trees clean the air. Tree foliage works as a natural air filter of particulate matter such as dust, micro sized metals and pollutants such as ozone, nitrogen oxides, ammonia and sulfur dioxides. Trees take in carbon dioxide and produce oxygen. Combined with the cooling effect of trees, these processes can have a significant impact on reducing smog and overall air pollution.

Trees improve water quality. A healthy urban forest can have a strong influence on our region’s water quality. Tree canopies and root systems slow and reduce storm water runoff, flooding and erosion. Trees also help filter water runoff reducing potential sources of water pollution into our rivers and storm drains.

Trees save energy. Trees cool the air naturally in two ways: through water evaporating from the leaves and direct shade. Homes shaded by trees need less energy for cooling which means lower monthly utility bills in summer and a reduced need for utilities to increase power generation to meet peak load demand.

Trees raise real estate value. Shaded neighborhoods and well-landscaped yards have a positive economic influence on real estate values, timeliness of house sales and neighborhood desirability. Studies report that landscaping speeds the sale of a home by four to six weeks.

Trees help stop inner city violence. A scientific study by the Human-Environment Research Lab has demonstrated that contact with nature may actually help reduce the incidence of aggression and violence in inner-city neighborhoods. According to this study, levels of aggression were significantly lower among people who had some kind of nature outside of their apartments versus those who didn't. The impact of the physical environment on human aggression has been well-established - crowding, high temperatures, and noise have all been linked to violent behavior. Some scientists believe that it's because people living under these conditions suffer from something called chronic mental fatigue, which can make them inattentive, irritable, and impulsive - all of which can be linked to aggressive behavior. Exposure to green spaces, it has been shown, can mitigate the harmful effects of chronic mental fatigue, reducing aggressive behavior in the process.

Some Facts and Figures about Trees:

acre of forest absorbs six tons of carbon dioxide and puts out four tons of oxygen. This ienough to meet the annual needs of 18 people. -U.S. Department of Agriculture

There are about 60-to 200- million spaces along our city streets where trees could be planted. This translates to the potential to absorb 33 million more tons of CO2 every year, and saving $4 billion in energy costs. -National Wildlife Federation

properly placed around buildings can reduce air conditioning needs by 30 percent and can save 20 - 50 percent in energy used for heating. -USDA Forest Service

Trees can be a stimulus to economic development, attracting new business and tourism. Commercial retail areas are more attractive to shoppers, apartments rent more quickly, tenants stay longer, and space in a wooded setting is more valuable to sell or rent. -The National Arbor Day Foundation

planting of trees means improved water quality, resulting in less runoff and erosion. This allows more recharging of the ground water supply. Wooded areas help prevent the transport of sediment and chemicals into streams. -USDA Forest Service

In laboratory research, visual exposure to settings with trees has produced significant recovery from stress within five minutes, as indicated by changes in blood pressure and muscle tension. -Dr. Roger S. Ulrich Texas A&M University

A tree can grow to manufacture five pounds of pure oxygen per day, consume carbon dioxide to fight the "greenhouse effect" that threatens our survival, and provide the cooling equivalent of ten room-size air conditioning units. For more details visit these web sites: www.sactree.com http://www.treelink.org

யோஜென் பெற்றோர்களுக்கு ஒரு வேண்டுகோள்! A Request to YoZenian Parents!

சில பெற்றோர்கள்....
தமது குழந்தைகளை வளர்க்க வேண்டிய சிறு பிராயத்தில்
நெறிப் படுத்தி சரியாக வளைத்து வளர்க்காமல், பெரிய மரமான பிறகு அவர்களை நிமிர்த்தி நேராக்க கடும் முயற்சி செய்கின்றனர்.

முற்பகல் செய்தவை யாவும் பிற்பகலில் விளைவது இயற்கையின் நியதி!

சிறு வயதில் குழந்தைகளை ஒரு அடிமை போல் எண்ணி அடித்தும், உதைத்தும், திட்டியும், அவமானம் செய்தும் சோறு போட்டு உடல் மட்டும் வளர்த்து விட்டு, பிறகு அந்தக் குழந்தைகள் சிந்திக்கும்-பெரிய பருவம் வந்ததும் எதிர்த்து பேசி ஏடாகூடம் செய்வதைக் கண்டு அத்தகைய பெற்றோர்கள் அதிர்ச்சி அடைகிறார்கள்.

பிறகு, அந்த இளைஞனை அல்லது இளைஞியை குணப்படுத்த அங்கும் இங்கும் அழைத்துசென்று ஆண்டுக்கணக்கில் ஓடி அலைகிறார்கள்; பெரும் செலவு செய்தும் குணமடையாதது கண்டு உளம் வெதும்பி கண்ணீர் வடிக்கிறார்கள்!

"எத்தைத் தின்றால் பித்தம் தெளியும்" என்ற நிலையில் வசியம், மாந்திரிகம், வேள்விகள் செய்தல், கோவில் குளம் சுற்றுதல், பெயர் மாற்றுதல், வாஸ்து பார்த்தல், வண்ணக் கற்களில் மோதிரம் அணிதல், சாமியார் கால்களில் விழுதல், யோகா தியானம் செய்தல், அது இது என்று பாவம் நேரம்-பணம்-சக்தியை விரயம் செய்கிறார்கள்.

மேற்படி "நிபுணர்களும்...??", மணலை கயிறாகத் திரித்து, வானத்தை வளைப்பதாக உறுதி கூறி நாட்களை கடத்தி பணம் பறிக்கிறார்கள்! பணம் பறிக்காத சிலர் "புகழ்" பறிக்க இது போன்ற உத்திகளை கையாள்கிறார்கள்! நூற்றில் ஒருவர் "காக்கை உட்கார பனம் பழம் விழுந்த கதையாய்" கொஞ்சம் சரியானது போல் தோன்றினால் கூட அவர்கள் மூலம் மேலும் கூட்டம் சேர்ந்து "நிபுணர்" புகழ் அடைய ஆரம்பித்து விடுவார்.

செய்தி நிறுவனங்கள், மற்றும் அறிவியல் ஆய்வுக் கழகங்களுக்கு இதில் எந்த வித சமூகப் பொறுப்பும் இருப்பதில்லை என்பது ஆச்சர்யமான விஷயம்!

அறிவியல் என்பது, பயன் நோக்கம் உடையது.
நூற்றுக்கு நூறு பேர் பயன் பெறுகிறார்களா என்று
உறுதி செய்ய வேண்டியது அறிவியலின் கடமை.

குறைந்தது நூற்றுக்கு தொண்ணூறு பேர் பயன் அடிகிறார்கள், அட! குறைந்த பட்சம் எழுபது சதவிகிதம் பேர், என்றால் பரவாயில்லை! கண் பார்வை குறைபாடுக்கு சென்ற நூறு பேரில் பத்து பேர் ஏதோ கொஞ்சம் பார்வை பெற்று, அந்த பத்து பேர் நூறு பேரை கூட்டி வரும் வியாபாரமாக இந்தக் கலி காலம் மாறி விட்டது! மற்றபடி அந்த நூறு பேரில் தொண்ணூறு பேர் பார்வை பறிபோனது பற்றி அல்லது சரியாகதது பற்றி எவருக்கும் எந்த அறிவியலாளர்களுக்கும் இந்த உலகத்தில் அக்கறை இல்லை என்பது மகா விந்தை-வெட்கக் கேடு!

பெற்றோர்களும் "கூடு விட்டு கூடு" பாய்வதை போல, ஆட்களை மாற்றிக் கொண்டு, "நாங்க தான் சரியில்லை! "அவங்க சொன்ன மாதிரி எங்களால தான் சரியாக "follow" பண்ண முடியல" என்று பேதைகளாக பிதற்றித் திரிவார்கள்!

ஆனால், அந்த வாலிபனோ உள்ளுக்குள் சிரித்துக் கொண்டே ஒரு வித பழி வாங்கும் உணர்வோடு பெற்றோர்களின் விருப்பத்துக்கு எதிராக செயல் பட்டு தன் கடந்த காலத்தை பழி தீர்த்துக் கொள்கிறான்.

அவனுக்கு தான் நலமடைவதை விட கெட்டவனாக இருந்து தன் பெற்றோர்களை பழி வாங்குவதே தலையாய இலட்சியமாய் இருக்கிறது.

இது போன்ற மன நோயாளிகளையும் மற்றும் பிறவிக் கோளாறுடன் பிறந்த பிணியாளர்கள்-ளையும் எந்த மனோ தத்துவ நிபுணர்களாலும் குணப் படுத்த இயலாது.

அறுவை சிகிச்சை மேடைக்கு ஒரு உடம்பு வந்து சேராமல் எப்படி அறுவை-சிகிச்சை செய்ய முடியாதோ, அதே போன்று, தான் நலம் அடைய வேண்டும் என்ற பூரண எண்ணம் இல்லாத ஒரு மனிதனை வலுக்கட்டாயமாக கூட்டி வந்து இந்த உலகத்தின் எந்தவொரு சிறந்த மன நல மருத்துவராலும் குணப்படுத்த இயலாது.

"தான் ஏதோ ஒரு வகையில் சரியில்லை". "கொஞ்சமாவது நான் மாற வேண்டும்", என்ற எண்ணம் இல்லாத எந்த மனிதனையும் எந்த புத்தராலும் மாற்ற இயலாது- அப்படி மாற்றுவதும் வழக்கத்தில் இல்லை.

அப்படி இருந்திருந்தால் இந்நேரம் எத்தனையோ ஞானிகள் இந்த உலகத்தை "நல்லவர்கள்" மட்டுமே வாழும் உலகமாக ஒரு நொடியில் மாற்றி இருப்பார்களே!

"தட்டுங்கள்-திறக்கப் படும்!

கேளுங்கள்-கொடுக்கப் படும்!" என்பது விவிலியம் கூறும் ஒரு நல் மொழி!

பாருங்கள்! கடவுளே சொல்கிறார்,
" நீ தட்டு- நான் என் கதவை திறக்கிறேன்!

"நீ கேளு! நான் என்னிடம் உள்ளதை தருகிறேன்", என்று!

அதாவது, யாரும் கேட்காமல்..... இங்கு எதுவும் கிடைக்காது, என்பது இவ்வுலகத்தின் தெளிவானதொரு வேதம்.

அது புரியாமல் தான் மாற வேண்டும் என்ற தீவிர விருப்பமும், தகிக்கும் ஆசையும் இல்லாத ஒரு மனிதனை மாற்ற முயற்சிப்பது வீண் வேலை ஆகும்!

அது ஒரு வீண் வேலை மட்டுமல்ல-கால விரயம், சக்தி விரயம், பொருள் விரயம்!

ஆகவே! என் அருமை "யோ ஜென்" விரும்பிகளே!

அப்படிப் பட்ட, மாற விருப்பம் இல்லாத ஒரு ஜீவனை யாரும் தயவு செயதுஇங்கு கூட்டி வர வேண்டாம்!

நாம் செய்ய வேண்டிய நியாயமான பணிகளே இந்த உலகத்தில் ஆயிரம் உள்ளன!

எனவே, வலியோடும் துன்பத்தோடும் அழுபவர்களின் கண்களைத் துடைக்க இந்த எனது கரங்கள் பயன் படட்டுமே!

மற்றபடி, பெற்றோர்கள் அல்லது உடன் பிறந்தவர்களை வேண்டுமென்றே அழ வைத்துக் கொண்டு இருக்கும் "தன்-முனைப்பு-ஜீவன்கள்"-ளை (Egocentric Psychopaths) காலம் மட்டுமே, தக்க சமயத்திலோ அல்லது அடுத்த ஜன்மத்திலோ நெறிப் படுத்த இய !

மற்றபடி நான்
அல்லது நாம் உதவி செய்ய
அங்கு ஒன்றுமே இல்லை என்பது தான்
கசப்பான உண்மையாகும்!

- மோகன் பாலகிருஷ்ணா